Apologizing in this way may open the door to continued healing, growth, and restored relationships in recovery. The goal is for each recipient to have a stake in their sobriety. Therefore we never give 100% scholarship and steadily decrease the amount over time. During the first month, the applicant must fill out our form online and interview with one of our staff members. If you damaged someone’s property while you were drunk or intoxicated, you can admit that what you did was wrong and disrespectful, apologize, and repair or replace the damaged property. If you stole money from someone or borrowed in excess, arrange to pay back or work off the debt.

Although, you’ll have to find a different way to do so and in a way that makes a lasting impact on you and the people you love who are still here. If you’re new to recovery and you’ve never made amends with loved ones before, you might be nervous or uncomfortable. Understandably, you might also be afraid of what the person’s reaction will be, feel very ashamed, or worry that your apology is too late. If you repeatedly missed appointments or broke plans with loved ones, don’t simply apologize. Refrain from making promises or commitments you don’t intend to or are unable to keep. If you miss an appointment or event due to circumstances out of your control, provide a specific apology that includes why it happened without excuses. It’s possible that the other person is unaware of the harm you have caused them, and making direct amends would make them aware and hurt them badly.

Navigating Step Nine: Living Amends

Unfortunately, there are many things that we do in our using that we can not rectify with tangible goods or https://ecosoberhouse.com/. What about the late nights that we kept our parents up worrying? What about the relationships we ruined, the emotional wreckage we created?

Claim your free trial today and see why more sober living homes prefer the Sober Living App. Sober Living App makes it easier – and more profitable – to operate sober living homes. The state is experiencing a shortage of quality sober living homes. Build relationships with key people who manage and lead nonprofit organizations with GuideStar Pro.

Recovery Habits of Highly Successful Sober People

New Life House has helped young men stay sober for over 35 years. We came from very humble beginnings, and would love to tell you our story of success and recovery. If you promised your father to help him mow the lawn on Sundays, but years have passed, and you’ve never once shown up, start now. If you promised your son or daughter to be there to see them off to college, clean yourself up and show up.

  • Ways of accepting their death, making living amends can help bereaved individuals find forgiveness and closure, especially when reconciliation is no longer an option.
  • You may also have the opportunity in the future to make more direct amends with certain people in time.
  • Communicating about the way you harmed others can evoke strong emotions.
  • You have to put in the work to repair the damage and heal those relationships.

Other individuals who have completed Step 9, such as your sponsor, may be able to help you choose a meaningful way to make indirect amends. To work the 12 steps effectively, specifically step nine, you should have a sponsor or someone that has already worked the steps to help you and more importantly be there to support you. Do not try to attempt to work step nine without a sponsor, therapist, or spiritual advisor. Your sponsor can help walk you through this by asking you about your goals in making amends, how you plan to do it, and when. This person should have already worked on step nine, so they understand what it takes and can help guide you through it. We work closely with sober livings homes that are high accountability homes.

The Value of Recovery Alumni Programs

Step eight says “Made a list of all the people we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” You cannot work the 9th step effectively without doing step eight first. “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others”; the 9th step of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous . By now you have made it through the first 8 steps, congratulations, you have almost made it! There are some important things you must know and do to successfully make 9th step amends. Operation of sober living homes must be established and enforced.

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These living amends are often the most difficult to keep because addiction plays a decisive role in a person’s ability to live up to their promises. Their parent may feel more pain for their addicted child’s inability to get sober than the material items lost due to the thefts. One of the greatest regrets some people endure is not apologizing to a loved one for past wrongs before they die.

In the event of a medical emergency, call a doctor or 911 immediately. This website does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by this website is solely at your own risk. The amends I made to her was admitting my wrongs and shortcomings due to my addiction. My living amends is being the son she deserves–someone who will do for her as she has always done for me.